born 3 September 1970

Bo Linton, Lancaster, Ohio, writer/director/actor

David-Matthew Barnes, Torrance, California, writer/documentarian

Gareth Southgate, Watford, England, soccer player/milkshake drinker

George Lynch, Roanoke, Virginia, NBA basketball player

Haydain Neale (died 22 November 2009), Hamilton, Ontario, singer

Hedvig Kaser, birthplace unspecified, Hungarian porn star

Herb Yehl, Terrace, British Columbia, special effects assistant

Kris Bratton, Winnipeg, Manitoba, soap opera actor

Maria Bamford, Port Hueneme, California, comedian

Pekka Heikkinen, Utajärvi, Finland, actor

Piotr Bujno, birthplace unspecified, Polish actor

Rob Nagle, Eugene, Oregon, actor

September Raines, birthplace unspecified, American porn dilettante

Scott Robinson, Yonkers, New York, producer

Susanne Kubelka, Klagenfurt, Austria, actress

Once, when I was traveling in Austria, alone, eighteen summers ago, I caught a train. The train was on its way to Graz, or so I thought. I overshot, or missed a transfer, and ended up spending part of an afternoon in the hometown of Today’s Winner.

Like her – and like the great novelist Robert Musil, the city’s most illustrious son – my first thought was, “Wow. I need to get out of here. Like, as soon as possible.”