born 7 January 1970

Andrew Burnham, Liverpool, England, member of Parliament
Anthony Woodcock, Townsville, Australia, writer/producer
C.W. Anderson, Minneapolis, Minnesota, professional wrestler
Chris McMullin, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, detective/extra
Chris Torres, Bakersfield, California, stuntman
Doug E. Doug, Brooklyn, New York, actor
Eric John, Plattsburgh, New York, porn star
Juha Jokela, Tampere, Finland, TV writer/director
Ken Niblock, Elkhart, Indiana, post-production supervisor/filmmaker
Ken Twohy, Seattle, Washington, assistant director
Martin Edwards, London, England, writer/director
Melissa Wyler, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, actress
Nicola Raasch, Berlin, Germany, actress
Pachy Méndez, Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, actress
Rupali Mehra, Mumbai, India, associate producer
Saruhan Hünel, Istanbul, Turkey, actor
Steve Whelan, San Mateo, California, extra
Stuart S. James, Southampton, New York, production assistant
Taketoshi Nagahori, Saitama, Japan, actor
Won-sang Park, birthplace unspecified, South Korean actor



OK. Here’s a good example of why I’m doing this.

My whole project here is, among other things, my humble salute to the glorious sculpture of information that is the Internet Movie Database. My latest evidence for this is furnished by way of Today’s Winner.

Chris McMullin’s biography is mildly interesting enough in itself. But in the crazy mixed up world of the IMDb, click anywhere, and you are only a link or two away from contemplating un-dreamed-of obscurities. Maybe you click on a title like Saddle Up With Dick Wrangler And Injun Joe, just to see what the hell that might be. Next thing you know you’re seeing that Mickey Rooney’s in the picture. Next thing you’re looking at Mickey Rooney’s entire filmography, which is a staggering rabbit-hole that exemplifies…all kinds of things.

You have Mickey Rooney’s beginnings. Born to vaudevillians, he debuts in the movies in 1926. (I’m a little unclear on why certain character names get a useless hyperlink unto themselves; the five-year-old Mickey Rooney should be credited as A Midget, not A Midget, yes?) Next thing you know he’s a child star. Next thing you know he’s just Andy-Hardy-ing the crap out of the whole universe.

His fortune and his place in Hollywood history secure, he joins the Army (in a morale-boosting role), marries and divorces Ava Gardner, and by his late twenties is a has-been. He has a television show that nobody watches. Gradually he remakes himself into a highly serviceable Hollywood supporting actor. His distasteful “buck-toothed oriental” caricature in Breakfast at Tiffany’s must have been unwatchable even at the time; it’s just hideous today. Mickey Rooney was seldom all that funny, but he knew how to pull people’s strings. A Hollywood legend, he just keeps trucking on. His youngest daughter Jonelle is born 11 January 1970.

Fast-forward forty years to January 2010. Mickey Rooney has been married for thirty-two years to his eighth wife. Thomas Pynchon has written him a cameo that’s a highlight of the half of Gravity’s Rainbow I have thus far managed to read. Least explicably of all, Mickey Rooney still appearing in movies at a steady clip. Twenty-one of them since Internet Love in the year 2000. Many of them straight-to-video oddities that few people can claim to have watched. Granted, Night At The Museum, people have seen that. But, really, what is Mickey Rooney still doing grinding out low budget sub-Starz movies, long after anybody remembers or cares how he got here?

I’m just trying to make sense of the fact that sense can be very hard to come by. Somebody help me.