born 8 January 1970

Ayres Donno, state of California, extra

Caston Cohen Rodrigues, Amsterdam, The Netherlands, TV director

Darryl Williams, Miami, Florida, NFL football player

Dwayne “Tiny” Morton, birthplace unspecified, Coney Island high school basketball coach

Emerson St. John, birthplace unspecified, Kentucky actor

Marcantonio Borghese, Rome, Italy, production manager

Marco Black, Santa Monica, California, assistant director

Melissa Hill, San Francisco, California, porn star

Miyuki Shôji, Tokyo, Japan, actress

Paul Greenberg, Liverpool, England, producer

Rachel Friend, birthplace unspecified, Australian actress

Vernon Ray Wilmer Jr., Chicago, Illinois, performer

My original intention—having surveyed today’s crop of prominent persons—was to file a report from a Bushwick high school basketball game, where Dwayne “Tiny” Morton would be coaching the visiting team, the storied Abraham Lincoln High School (because other than him these people bore me).

However, fate intervened. My beautiful daughter Clementine was born Monday, severely hampering my ability to seek out obscure public events on a whim. It’s too bad, and it stands in for all the obscure public events that fathering a newborn will now prevent me from attending. Of course, there’s a huge silver lining here: think of all the obscure public events I’ll be able to drag my daughter to in the years to come!