born 27 August 1970

Adam Lucas, birthplace unspecified, Australian short filmmaker

Ann Johnson, Raleigh, North Carolina, dance team stylist

Francesca Schiavo, Rome, Italy, actress

Gene Gabriel, New York, New York, actor

Gustavo Salmerón, Madrid, Spain, actor

Jason McCoy, Minesing, Ontario, self-portrayer

Jason Anyiam Okezie, birthplace unspecified, porn star Jake Steed

Jim Thome, Peoria, Illinois, major league slugger

Joy, Leanna, & Monica Creel, Los Angeles, California, actresses

Juana María Maroto, Mexico City, TV assistant director

Kelly Trump, Gelsenkirschen, West Germany, porn star

Kevin Castro, San Leandro, California, short filmmaker

Margot Demeter, Washington, D.C., actress

Matt Painter, Muncie, Indiana, basketball player

R. Lee Fleming, Jr., state of Texas, TV writer

Tony Canal, London, England, the black guy in No Doubt

Folks, let’s face it: we are living in a world where Today’s Winner might be in the top ten of all time home run hitters until the day we die. He’s already up in the rarified air above Mickey Mantle, Reggie Jackson, Mike Schmidt, and Ernie Banks, among others. He will finish his career no worse than eighth all time.

Now, he has a thirty-eight home run lead on Manny Ramirez. One supposes Manny may catch him, but it’s far from a guaranteed thing. Pujols can pass everyone who ever lived, not excluding A-Rod or Sadaharu Oh. But even just to pass Jim Thome, Albert has to stay alive and well to do so for five or six more seasons at the minimum, which history says is always harder than it looks.

Back down the list, Prince Fielder? Adam Dunn? Some kid coming up through the minors right now? I don’t know. The live-ball Canseco epoch is well dead and buried. Jim Thome is still here, still hitting home runs, and hasn’t been linked to any performance-enhancing substances stronger than chewing tobacco. As the glare and the haze of the present day clears, his Bunyanesque accomplishment will only expand in stature.